Piper's Balmy Fetish

So, this dog I have... 
this dog who will not eat her food until the last possible minute before starvation... 
this dog who just before said starvation will only take a few pieces of dog food into a secluded place to eat it... ingested an entire tube of A+D Ointment. 


I came home from the salvation army with my sister and opened the door to find the tube in pieces all over the floor and the entire contents vanished, licked clean. 
exhibit A

I was stoked, of course.

"Hey, Pipester, I hope you enjoyed that tasty treat because it was your last meal." Or something like that came out of my mouth lovingly. 

I called the vet to make sure we wouldn't have to go spend a bagillion dollars there like always and was very happily reassured that we would not have to come in. "It's not toxic. It might upset her stomach a bit, but she'll be fine." said vetlady. 

Not after I get done with her.

Now this is what I have been getting all day:
exhibit B: cold shoulder.

Oh yeah, and I woke up with this today. Lame.
exhibit c (better known as exhibit I can't c because my eye is SWOLLEN).

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