2/4/11

Can you hear a subtle aching tone?

God bless my husband.

He is so wonderful that he decided to stop by Belmont Station and get me a gluten free beer! What a treat!

I truly enjoyed it, of course.

And, now, I am pondering all worth pondering of the Shin's golden rhythms. You hipsters and your Broken Bells! Not that they're bad or anything. I just like me some good old Shins. Brings back memories of good times. I guess. If good times count as when I had a full-time job and a 45 minute to an hour commute to and from. They faithfully got me all the way home, and for that I am loyal to their consistently smiling beats.

I'm sure I'll figure out the deep sentiments of these "oooo wah ooo"s someday.

So, what I really want to talk about is people.

Yes, people.

Not just any people. The people that you don't have time to become friends with. You know, the people who take your order or cash your check or take your change, or (in my case today) cut your fabric. 
What do you think of these people? I sometimes find I feel the right to judge these people based on how well they treat me in our 2-minute exchange. But it's not until nights like these, where I have time to ponder away, that I begin to realize how utterly selfish that is. Really? Am I that shallow? I guess I think these people exist solely to please me? Yeah. Right.

I leave the store or the bank or the restaurant or the corner thinking They could have been a lot nicer TO ME.

I'm pretty sure I deserve to have everything I have taken away from me for this. I hate meeting my selfishness face to face in the (sometimes very disappointing) mirror of my soul. I think I'm such a good person, but if I can let you in on a tiny secret... I'm not. 

I spend my days wondering how I can better myself, or what awesome things I can do to feel satisfied, or how I can get people to want to be my friend. It's pathetic, really. Because I don't have a lot of friends, but I have some really good ones. Like my sister. Or Bekah-boo. And these people don't like me because I'm ridiculously awesome (at least not last time I checked). Which is quite refreshing, actually. And I'd rather only have two friends like that than a million who expected awesomeness all the time.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need humility pounded into my head and my heart. I think, deep down, it's there. But it's not as much a part of my life as it ought to be.

I just want to see these people as people.

Not as annoyances.
Or inconveniences. 
Just...
people.
Just like me.

Well, now that I've opened my heart up to y'all... it's time for a more celebratory note...






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